Emails With No Context: The Return

Jennifer gets all the credit for this hilarious "Email With No Context", for which I of course hate her, but it was too funny and perfect for this series and therefore I begrudgingly allow her continued existence (also she makes yummy cupcakes). For those too lazy to read all the way through, I'll just say this: Skip down and read #8, it's really all you need.

To: Robin
From: Jennifer
Subject: Re: EXCESSIVELY LONG LIST EMAIL

1. I'm already three chapters in.
1b. I'm excessively naughty.

2. Lol, I have no idea if I was carried. Also, I HATE waking up to dirty dishes. It drives me crazy. Plus, we have the occasional fruit fly. So yeah.

3. I have no advice for you. :[

4. I HATE that. The taste bud. The rest too.

5. Sure and let's rewatch, just to be safe.

6. !!!!!!!

7. Lol. I know what that's like. There was this guy from my high school who's alway super-overly friendly and socially awkward and likes to touch you (not inappropriately, he's probably just imitating friendly hugs he sees) and always wants to talk and no matter how well he means any subject he chooses is inevitably like "OH MY GOD GET AWAY FROM ME." But he's the nicest person in the world (except when he makes insensitive meat comments but even then I'm sure he doesn't get it) and it makes you feel awful. He's just socially inept.

8. Bring in a fiber-filled treat for everyone and see what happens. If there's no change, bring in a bowl of condoms.