FACTS

1. I love "The Mummy". If you have a problem with that, you should leave now.

2. However, I could take or leave "The Mummy Returns".

2a. And don't even get me started on the franchise that followed.

3. Sometimes when I'm trying to remember how a song goes, the opening line of "Free Bird" runs through my head completely of it's own volition.

3a. Not even the real version, a cover version from that shitty movie "Duets" with Gwenyth Paltrow 'cause that's the first time I ever heard it (I was like 15 and didn't listen to much music. And also watched shitty movies, apparently). How uncool is that?

4. I've found that it's really hard to stay cranky if you sing or listen to "Milkshake" by Kelis.

Moral

Say there's someone you're close to, you spend lots of time with, have been friends with for a few years. You've had your ups and downs. You're very different people and have very different ideals, perspectives, politics. Part of what makes your friendship enjoyable is being able to discuss and debate these differences. Okay, perhaps mostly argue and roll your eyes at each other.

When this person shows absolute disdain for a human life, multiple human lives - do you stick around? Hope to be a good influence? Assume they're simply making these comments for shock value? Walk away and sever all contact?

It's not disdain for just plain old human life. It's not in theory or just a thought in the ether. It's specific human lives. It's deciding some people matter more than others.

It's not just some talking head on cable news. It's your friend. What do you do?

Things I Will Not Do (in no particular order)

1. Buy a tuna sandwich from Dunkin Donuts. Because stale donuts don't instill the trust necessary to place a seafood order.

2. Use the word "guestimate". 'CAUSE IT'S NOT A WORD. You can make a guess or you can make an estimate, pick one and stick with it, you indecisive prick.

3. Wear a band tee shirt for a band I don't listen to. It's like lying. But with clothes.

To be continued...

Fighting the urge to name drop...

This used to be way easier to do everyday back in high school. Maybe that's 'cause I was in high school and therefore thought everything out of my mouth was profound and/or hilarious?

I mean, I was totally right, but I guess I'm just out of practice.

So let's see. Went to the post office today. In my pajamas. Wow, I'm not turning out to be that crazy-guy-who-wanders-around-town and everyone-avoids-eye-contact with at all.

Had a guy at work tonight get really angry 'cause I wouldn't let him use an employee discount he couldn't prove he had....on a bottle of water. Seriously. He tried to pull "I do it every week!" on me - yeah, guy, I work there full time and I ain't ever seen your cheap, bald headed self before. Better luck next time.

Man, I'm a total bitch. I just hate people trying to get one over on me.

It's been pointed out to me that the last three titles on my entries are "P.I.M.P" "HO!" and "Whiskey". However unintentional this may have been, I'm somewhat astonished I don't have more readers.

P-I-M-P

When Helen Mirren walked on stage to present a Golden Globe, she paused for a moment and let the audience simply bask in her sexiness. She looked around the room as if to say, "Yes, I really am this hot. I'll give you a minute to soak it in and recover."

Whiskey

HO!